Category Archives: Uncategorized

The Wit of the Universe

For a firefighter the best fire seasons are often the worst fire seasons. The muted sunlight, grey skies and the campfire odor that settled over urban areas in the Pacific Northwest recently could be greeted as the smell of overtime by a wildland firefighter. During my college summers, I worked for the U.S. Forest Service […]

Race and Consequences

Take a long look at Rachel Dolezal, and don’t be surprised if you see Margaret Seltzer in blackface. Both of them needed the black experience to give their lives meaning. In today’s America, being white is so … boring. Especially basic white – no gayness, no bisexuality, no gender grievances, no family dysfunction, no historic […]

Black Tantrum in Baltimore

Excuse me, but did Martin Luther King, Jr. just get assassinated again? It would appear so. “We’re making history here in Baltimore, Maryland,” said Ephelyn Smith, who told NPR she took two buses and got lost to get to Freddie Gray’s funeral. Freddie Gray? He had a string of arrests dating back to 2007, most […]

Tax Bill Comes Due For Obamacare

My one-year experiment with Obamacare ended on tax day with me writing a check to the IRS for $5,424. More than half of that – $3,000 – went to reimburse the government for an Affordable Care Act health insurance policy that provided me little in the way of medical coverage. It didn’t bother me to […]

John and Cylvia’s Game Plan

Had Oregon’s former First Lady Cylvia Hayes looked more like Sonia Sotomayor, John Kitzhaber might still be governor. Had Hayes looked like a Supreme Court Justice, Kitzhaber probably wouldn’t have been so quick to show her off, to announce that she would be his “first lady” and that his staff should treat her as his […]

Charlie and the Cagers

Poor Charlie Hales. He once was anointed by the media as the prime mover behind Portland City Council’s embrace of the streetcar. He reveled in the naming of BridgePort Brewery’s Streetcar Ale. “Whoever named a beer after a bus?” he crowed. (See “A Streetcar to Admire,”The Columbian, Sept. 14, 2003.) Back then, Charlie called streetcars […]

Interview With a Butthole

Wouldn’t it be funny if Kim Jong-un kidnapped Seth Rogen and held him hostage in North Korea, forcing him to make movies for the Supreme Leader? There is some historic precedent for this. In 1978, Kim Jong-un’s father, Kim Jong-Il, a movie buff, kidnapped Choi Eun Hee, a popular South Korean actress, and brought her […]

Fear of Black Men

The year 2042 can’t get here fast enough. That’s the year when demographers predict white people will be the statistical minority in the U.S. Finally, black folks will have to find someone else to blame besides whitey. Only joking. I’m not worried about being a statistical minority because I’ve never felt part of a majority. […]

Bullwhipped in America

If the United States had never traded in African slaves, would we now have the troubles in Ferguson, Missouri? Probably not. The shooting by a police officer of a young man he believed was assaulting him and trying to steal his weapon would not have been judged on skin color. Slavery has been practiced at […]

A Poor, Sad Guy’s Lament

Somewhere in Clatskanie, Ore., is an aging child of Aquarius who thinks he’s gotten even. Finally, he can legally blow marijuana smoke in the face of anyone. Or so he thinks. Poor Bill Uhlig is headed for a letdown. Ten years ago, Uhlig was cited in Clatsop County, Ore., on a marijuana charge. He says […]